to being a Single Parent         

I did not choose to become a single parent and at first I did not deal with it well.
Link to my 12 step Page and maybe there are those who will identify with me.
After a while and with a great deal of support, I stopped running and began to accept the responsibility of being the solo parent and all that came with the job. There are no classes on How to be a Parent
Even being a teacher did not prepare me for the raising of 5 young children. Its so different from teaching in a classroom to having the 24 hour care of 5 little ones and making what you hope were the right decisions. After all what a parent does is try to do the best to raise your children to live in the world.
I found out very quickly than each child had different personalities and needs and I had to find 5 different ways of communicating with each of them.

WHAT WORKS FOR ONE DOESN'T NECESSARILY WORK FOR ANOTHER.

Before Pete died we had been active in the church on base and I continued to attend church ( no longer on base) and the children Sunday school. Now questions arose
How can a loving God take our father?
I think they still wrestle with that question today and to be honest sometimes so do I.
As the kids grew, sports played a very important in family life. I couldn't participate because I have Cerebral Palsy , but I was the cheerleader, listening to the stories of victory and defeat. Football, Tennis, Sailing, Wrestling, Karate and for a very short time Crew. I have all the trophies and I refuse to part with them. There is not a family gathering today when the TV is not tuned in to some sports event and although we may not watch it , my grandson Sam keeps us up to date on the scores and details, for an 8 yr. old, he's really very good at it.      

Both boys were cub Scouts and Peter went on to become an Eagle Scout.

For a time the girls were in Girl Scouts too.
I found I had to use resources in the community, in my family. I found that being a single parent for me was a full time job. The Government was great, supporting the kids through College and 2 have finished Masters Programs
I was told shortly after Pete died

" Don't try and be a mother and father to your children because you can't afford to fail as a mother."

As I mentioned on the family page
We are NOT the All-American family, not for one minute, We've had our problems as well as our successes.
I did fail for a while but I hope I pulled myself together in time. Most of the kids now have their own families and you just hope that the job you have done is good enough. Only time will tell

Can you succeed as a single parent?

YES. Today one does not have the stigma of being a single parent as I did, even though it was not by choice. Today woman are having children in their 30's and therefore more mature and better able to handle it financially as well as emotionally. If you really want children and you have your eyes WIDE OPEN then, Go for it as there is nothing as rewarding as being a parent EXCEPT FOR BEING A GRANDPARENT.

Creative Outlet for Single Parents Single Parent Network
Parents Place Polly Klaas Foundation
Single Rose  Drug Abuse
Single Parents World  National Cancer Institute
Sex  offender Registries  

The hardest part is asking for help....

         

 

            

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